Step outside the show and these lives ABC created are based on what people believe are the lives of real doctors, real residents, and very real medical students.
One problem: doctors, residents, and medical students are real people. Is that really what occurs in their lives? What if a 'normal' person is dating a person in love with medicine? Should I just park my ass in the on call room during their shifts?
Back to reality. I am currently dating a medical student. A medical student whom I love. Very much. Prior to his going to medical school hours away from the place we called home, I searched on the internet for tips, helpful hints, and people that knew more about dating in medical school than I did. What I found was terribly depressing and made me cry for hours since I was scared and had no idea what I was up against or what to expect from the bumpy road ahead.
Tips & Hints I found were usually from psycho, obsessive new girlfriends or miserable ex-girlfriends that included "I am going to marry this man, he has zero time for me & we met 4 days ago, but I know it will work" (psycho.) OR "If you haven't been dating the person for more than 85 years, get out now. They will not love you, they will cheat on you with people from their class, and you will never understand what they are going through" (oh really? thanks for the advice.)
I decided to help the people out there that genuinely want help understanding the sick and twisted relationship they will embark on. I have been with my boyfriend, who will remain unnamed, for four and a half years. He is perfect to me and I feel as if he compliments my personality in every way; I feel better when I am with him. When we met, back in high school, I never thought he would go on to pursue a career as a physician and as college came to a close, the realization was hard to ignore. I am supportive of him and I try to be his biggest fan but I had a feeling medical school would be awful. Feeling was right. We are in a long distance relationship and I am sure that has to do with the awful-ness since most of it is missing my significant other.
Enough of me, this is what I have learned so far from dating someone going through medical school.
1. You think year I will be the worst but it's not. Just hang on tight, the worst is yet to come.
2. Do not expect phone calls, text messages, or any contact during exam week or during class time.
3. If you want to converse, text them/ call them/ whatever but don't be selfish, go around their schedule.
4. They love highlighters, pens, printer paper, little tabs - buy them! Best girlfriend award. ever.
5. Don't expect to see them often.
6. Do not get jealous of the females he goes to school with. This is hard because you see those nerds as smart people that have more in common with your boyfriend than you ever will. Not the case. They are probably annoying, talk about themselves all the time, or never let your boyfriend forget about school.
7. Find ways to spend time together. Whether it's dinner, a movie, talking on the phone, going for a walk, or walking to get highlighters, make sure you value that time.
8. Don't forget the little things. Say I love you, I miss you, etc.
9. Its easy to get mad and give up but try not to let your conscience get the best of you. Stop thinking he is in his bed with another girl... he is in his bed... reading for tomorrow's lectures. alone.
10. Don't think about him being a doctor (ugh even though I wish he wasn't going to be at all) He is still the same person so far. Just fantasize about him in the white coat and nothing else, that is all.
11. communicate as much as his schedule allows. It is difficult but you will appreciate every conversation you have.
12. Everyone he hangs out with will be medical students. Get used to be the retarded one in the group, the one no one knows, and the one people stare at because they obviously know you are out of place. It is annoying. Cry about it later when you are showering alone.
13. Stay in bed. There will be days where they need to just sleep and unwind. Take advantage of those 10 hours spent in bed. I'm serious.
good luck on the path to medical relationships! It is the biggest pain in the ass and you will want to throw in the towel but remember what makes you love that person and that will be enough to stick it out. Ignore the women he spends endless time with in class, some of them will piss you off. Do not watch medical drama shows, those situations do not happen (I think.) - people do not strip down and have sex between surgeries, people do not drag each other in to supply rooms to have a quickie. Unrealistic. Who even came up with those stories? They should be fired.
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